I'm pretty sure I'm one of the only people out there that despises the city of Las Vegas. I have been there a million times, and the reason I probably hate it so much is that I am always there for work. I think I have been there twice for fun. Once was my first time there with an old girlfriend. We were 21, got super-drunk off stupidly expensive drinks at Studio 54 (even though we were broke) and somehow ended up in some swingers suite at the Luxor where they tried to convince us to take a bath with them at 3am. While I consider myself a pretty open-minded person we hightailed it out of that suite pretty quickly. The second time I was there for fun was for my mother-in-law's 50th birthday about 10 years after my first experience there. That was a decidedly mellower visit to Sin City. All my other trips there have been for tradeshows or work events. I just got home from the Dew Tour finals and I think I've ironed out my Vegas gripes:
1. The Food-Everybody raves about the amazing food and all these famous chefs have restaurants in Vegas. Well I think their food is shit. Nobody ever has vegetarian options and it's as overpriced as the drinks. I think the best meal I've had in Vegas was at PF Changs, that's pretty pathetic (though I do love PF Changs).
2. The Douchebaggery-Holy shit I have never seen more d-bags in one place (though I have never been to the Jersey Shore). It's like every tool from every city in the country descends upon Vegas every weekend. The girls try to outdo each other with their slutty outfits and the dudes use far too much hair product. This is all magnified by the fact that all these people think they are incredibly cool.
3. The Air-You can still smoke inside? Really?! I'm a former smoker and I think this is grossgusting. The only reason it might make a little bit of sense is because it's nearly impossible to find your way outside when you're in those damn casinos.
4. The downright seediness of it all-Vegas is billed as this place of luxurious excess. But really it's the place where people do things they are ashamed of. Vegas smells like cigarettes and shame.
5. Hangovers-No matter WHAT I say ("I'm going to stay in my hotel room and work") every time I go to Vegas I end up with a least one hangover. The only positive about this past weekend's hangover is it involved hanging out with 2 friends I hadn't seen in ages.
I didn't take any photos from my most recent trip except of autograph signings for work and that's just not very interesting. The end.
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